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Crash Chords EP

by Painless Parker

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1.
I had a first cousin, one Arthur McBride He and I took a stroll down by the seaside A-seeking good fortune and what might betide It was just as the day was dawning Then after we rested we went for a tramp We met Sergeant Harper and Corporal Cramp Besides a wee drummer, who beat up for camp With his roudy-dou-dou in the morning He said "My young fellows, if you'd but enlist It's a guinea I quickly shall press in your fist Besides which a crown for to kick up the dust And drink the King's health in the morning!" Had we been such fools as to take the advance for the wee bit of money we'd have to run chance You you'd think it no scruple to send us to France Where we would be killed in the morning He said "My young fellows, if I hear one more word I instantly now will out with my sword And into your bodies as strength might afford So now, my gay devils, take warning!" But Arthur and I, we took in the odds And we gave 'em no chance for to launch out their swords Our whacking Shillelaghs came over their heads And paid them right smart in the morning As for the wee drummer, we rifled his pouch And we made a football of his roudy dou-dou And in to the ocean to rock and to roll And bade it a tedious returning As for the old rapiers that hung by their sides We flung them as far as we could in the tide "To the Devil I pitch you," Says Arthur McBride, "To temper your steel in the morning"
2.
Sun's in the sky, but it don't shine, no it don't shine for me Sun's in the sky, but it don't shine for me Hey hey mama, what do you say Makes no difference anyway Sun's in the sky but it don't shine for me The Girls are pretty, but they got no eyes, they ain't got no eyes for me The Girls are pretty, but they got no eyes for me Hey hey mama, what do you say Makes no difference anyway The Girls are pretty, but they got no eyes for me The bees are buzzin', but the honey ain't sweet, no the noney ain't sweet to me I said the bees are buzzin', but the honey ain't sweet to me Hey hey mama, what do you say Makes no difference anyway The bees are buzzin', but the honey ain't sweet to me The bottle's empty but I just can't, no I just can't get tight I said the bottle's empty, but I just can't get tight Hey hey mama, what do you say Makes no difference anyway The bottle's empty, but I just can't get tight, no sir. The band is hot, but I don't care, no I don't care to dance I know the band is hot, but I don't care to dance Hey hey mama, what do you say Makes no difference anyway The band is hot, but I don't care to dance Well I turn my key, but this ol' car, no this ol' car won't start Lord knows I turn my key but this ol' car won't start Hey hey mama, what do you say Makes no difference anyway I turn my key but this ol' car won't start There's somethin' bad inside this brain, inside this brain o' mine Oh Lord, there's somethin' bad inside this brain o' mine Hey hey mama, what do you say Makes no difference anyway There's somethin' bad inside this brain o' mine Ain't nothin' for it, but to sing them blues, but to sing them bad brain blues Oh Lord, there ain't nothin' for it, but to sing them bad brain blues Hey hey mama, what do you say Makes no difference anyway Nothin' for it, but to sing them bad brain blues
3.
I wish I had more money, I wish I had more time I wish someone'd pay me every time I made it rhyme I wish I had a better job, at least a better bed I wish my baby didn't have to work so hard to keep us fed I wish there was a pill to take to get me off my ass I wish I had more follow-through, wish I'd stayed awake in class But when all is said and done, my life it ain't so terrible And if wishes were horses, the smell would be unbearable I wish I was in better shape, I wish I'd learned to dance I wish I could whisk my baby off for a week or two in France I wish I had insurance, I wish Grandma wasn't dead I wish something besides whiskey stopped the chatter in my head I wish I could get off these meds and wander through the town Without this fucking city grinding me into the ground But when all is said and done, my life it ain't so terrible And if wishes were horses, the smell would be unbearable Yeah, when all is said and done, my life it ain't so terrible And if wishes were horses, the smell would be unbearable

about

Recorded live in February 2015, for episode #132 of the Crash Chords Podcast. I was a guest on the show, we talked about depression and reviewed a Loudon Wainwright III album.

Check out the full episode here: crashchords.com/pods/ccp132.mp3

credits

released January 12, 2016

Vocals, guitar, mandolin: Painless Parker
Recording: Matt Storm, Steve Nagel, and Jon Sanders

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Painless Parker Brooklyn, New York

Born under a barstool and raised by a pack of wild koalas, Painless Parker plays a mixed bag of country laments, sea shanties, murder ballads and classic rockers, filtered through a grimy, whiskey-stained punk lens. He's fluent in two languages, and can cuss in at least seventeen. He enjoys rabble-rousing, shindigging, booze drinking and merrymaking. ... more

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